Begin anywhere.
This is what it says in bold print on the cover of a simple white card someone once gave me that’s now ragged and dirty around the edges.
I keep the card because it’s a reminder to me that no matter what stands in front of you, it’s liberating to remember that much of the time, you can truly begin anywhere and be making forward progress that has a hope of creating the momentum that will propel you on toward your goal.
As an ‘Unbalanced 90 Percenter‘ in an office, I never had much question about where to begin — deadlines and project plans prioritize your day down to what seems like the second — a fluid puzzle in which fitting a never-ending stream of tasks into time slots slightly smaller than the tasks themselves is a badge of honor.
This lifestyle so many of us choose is at once exhausting, demanding, stressful, and yes, sometimes exhilarating. In the moment, it seems very ‘important’ (it is work after all) and even honorable to toil with such commitment. Amidst the unending (and sometimes self-imposed) maelstrom, though, most of us at least claim to wish there were another way.
It’s an interesting paradox — we all want more choices, more flexibility, more freedom … but what happens if we get them? Where do we begin?
In my experience, it’s a bit like what happens when I open the menu at The Cheesecake Factory — I feel at once overwhelmed and tired – it’s just too much to think about.
There are simply too many choices to be able to effectively absorb, filter, sort, prioritize, and act in a way that seems reasonable and rational to us. Exiting our insanely ‘productive’ and efficient worlds, we come to a screeching halt at the brink of a precipice where the view below reveals everything we could have, all the contributions we could make … if only we could make the choices.
And here’s the strange thing – the screeching to a halt and momentary standstill isn’t refreshing and eye-opening – it’s terrifying and potentially paralyzing. Stripped of our ‘overworked’ martyr mantles, the painstakingly prioritized task list, and the Herculean efforts required to affect impossible outcomes (that matter little to anyone outside an office), getting off the ride even for a moment means redefining at least a piece of who we are and deciding which of our potential contributions just can’t wait any any longer.
In some ways, the life lived at breakneck pace in full-on firedrill mode is laudable – it requires diligence and often, more than its pound of flesh. Sometimes it enables us to achieve pieces of greatness we’ll be proud of long after they’re relevant to anyone else. But this life also has potential to carry us headlong and unthinking, on a rushing wave that effectively obscures our ability to see what ‘could have been’ and leaves us without having to truly decide what matters most.
Thanks to the generosity of a husband who I fear sometimes believes more in my abilities than even I do, I’ve moved out of an office and into a land of endless opportunity running my own business. The vastness of my ‘choice’ in this space is boundless and begs the questions I never had to ask in an office: How will I define value and success? How will I measure productivity? What is the value of learning in its own right or daring to experiment with the unknown? Can I consider possibilities I’d written off years ago as untenable because I thought I couldn’t pay a mortgage with them?
So here’s what I think. I can begin by doing one thing I’ve always wanted to do, learn how to do something I’ve always wondered about, reclaim something I was once passionate about, revisit what I always believed I’d be great at … and suddenly, I’ll realize it’s happened — without even noticing, I am in motion on a course that is both uncomfortable to me as a creature of habit and structure and exhilarating because it lacks these constraints.
At 40+, I am just beginning to understand. I can rewrite a piece of my destiny and make it align less with who I’ve always been and more with who I want to be. I can even fail in my attempts to venture into the unknown – and then recalibrate and evolve – bringing with me more texture and richness for each of these experiences.
And how wonderful to know … I can just begin anywhere.
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Jan 11, 2012 -
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